Today was suppose to be a day of writing. I’m working on my third book. It’s about how computers mediate communication… My interest. My research. Well, I managed to edit some existing writing, but was unsuccessful on the production front. As I sat there in Starbucks – after eating a very expensive, but very average lunch from Cova Caffe in Harbour City – I quickly realized that today was not a good day for writing. I couldn’t focus. The Canadian next to me was talking to his girlfriend about American politics (Canadians are, by the way, experts of American politics). I wasn’t happy about the fact that I spent loads of money on a crap lunch. And the Canadian continues to talk, this time about languages.
So, what qualifies for writer’s block? Purdue University (fairly famous for their online writing resources) has a list of writer’s block symptoms.
- no preparation
- boring topic
- anxiety
- stress
- self-consciousness
Nowhere on the list did they mention Canadians. I’d therefore like to offer my own advice.
Symptom:
Canadian in a public space
Cure:
- Do NOT commit to a seat before scanning the room for Canucks!
Avoid…
- hockey shirts
- Maple Leafs sewed onto backpacks
- people talking incessantly about American politics
- English-French bilinguals
- soul patches (most Canadians I know have soul patches)
- anyone who has an American accent, but speaks for their love for: social health care, world peace, and/or the Queen of England
- anyone with a Colbert Report t-shirt
Of course, this list is not comprehensive, but highly accurate and based on years of empirical research.
